Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Chasing my dreams, and then falling on my face.

If there's one thing that everyone should know about me, it's that I hate running. Literally. I HATE it. So therefore I'm not to good at "chasing my dreams." It's very common to hear people say that you are your own worst critic, but I don't think some people completely understand that some of us are SUCH critics that it breaks our dream apart. I'm not just saying that you drew a picture and you thought it was horrible but everyone liked it. No, I'm talking about when you can't decide what you want to do with your life because you don't believe you're good enough, smart enough, or talented enough for anything. I'm told that I'm a good artist, I don't believe I'm talented enough. I'm told that I'm so pretty, that I should be a model...No, I'm not pretty enough. I'm told I should be a lawyer, that I would rock at that job...nah, I'm not smart enough. Singing? Nope, can't sing. Actor? C'mon, how in the world could I ever get famous?
Every dream I ever start to build on, I somehow being to break it down. I'm terrified to go to college. I;m scared to get a job. I'm scared scared sacred of this and that. OF LIFE.
And trust me, I've talked to people and I've gone through counseling. yeah, none of that worked. Someone's mentioned medicine...That's not happening, I barely even like taking Tylenol. But I'm working at it. I'm getting better. I've actually started looking into working in the beauty industry, like selling and merchandising because let me tell you, I LOVE MAKEUP!
I'll keep you posted on the progression or regression on that one.


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  2. literally my life!!! sometimes I feel like everyone else around me is special and I'll never be good enough for anything. at times like that I just do what I do and ignore my self-loathing self. anyway good luck and who doesn't like makeup anyway? <3